Sunday, September 18, 2011

Habis gelap terbitlah terang

        Happy Raya to all muslim out there I know it was too late. Congratulations to all Muslims who have completed the second pillars of Islam, fasting in Ramadhan. Hope the Ramadhan had teach us some lessons and make ourselves more better than before. Ramadhan is about patience, talk nicely, tolerance,kind to everybody,and everything that make us become a better person. This holy month teach us all about that ,Ramadhan teach us how to control our anger it also teach us to always keep calm and Ramadhan teach us about "forgiveness".

         At the end it always brings us closer to ALLAH SWT but for me it also bring me to reconcile with my heart. There's a lot problem that I've to face this year but at the certain point I get my self lost. I've to fight with my own feeling, I keep blaming my self full of feeling guilty and living in fear of the consequences of this and that.The feeling surrounds me, and no matter how I feel, it is always there and I can’t escape it! But then I realized it is wasting time if I just begging forgiveness to God without have a deal with my self first, how come ALLAH forgive me while I can't forgive my self .The kindest and most compassionate thing that I can do for my self now is to forgive my self.I don't wanna living with my past I wanna enjoy my future, I wanna keep walking and stop blaming my self.

         How Ramadhan teach me to forgiving my self ? Ramadhan is like time machine it bring us to the past remember all the thing , what we did, what we felt, and what has been done, this special time machine consist of two button, one button to go forward and another button is a trap which is means if we choose the second button we will stuck on our current life (trapped with the past). I choose the first button, Ramadhan give us a chance to reform our selves, A sudden feeling of spiritual that take me more closer with ALLAH and also with my own selves personally. It takes me to thinking over things that what I feel bad about, things that may I've said or done to my self or others. I allowing my self to see that in fact there always imperfect and there always times when I mess up then after that I apologize to my self and let it go. I forgive my self and move on. It teach me that we can't change our past but we can try to design our future. I start to loving and forgiving myself and InsyaALLAH my heart will then be open to forgiving others.

 Dear Ramadhan, I wish I can meet you again next year. Amin
xoxo Nurul Hikmah Musakir